It’s been ages since I wrote a post. A fair amount has gone on since the last one. Kind of. A lot of Arrgh and haa! Also a fair amount of neurosis, lots of lack of sleep, a lot of plotting, scheming and thinking about my plans for world literary domination yet still I've done very little. Or maybe not. Maybe I've actually done quite a lot recently. I'm hard on myself quite often. ‘You worry a lot’ said the model, last night. Yep, I do. I also laugh a fuck of a lot, think ‘to hell with that/them’ more often than you may think, and I allow waves of elation to ripple over me due to excitement about what I know I can achieve in my life.
But yes, recent days have been immensely unsettled for me. For a few reasons but nothing I'm gonna mention.
What would I say to a friend who has been going through what I’ve been going through? Be nice to yourself, take a break, remember life isn't all about taking leaps forwards but sometimes small steps will get us more precisely to the place we wanna go. I'd say something like that, then I'd probably say: ‘ Have a bit of sex that'll release some tension.’
And so I did. Last night. With the model.
Yep, he's nice. He's nice. Not sure what else to say...could blab a bit, but I won't. So in a rare moment of taciturnity I shall remain silent on this matter. Needless to say I had a delicious time.
So as you may or may not know or remember - since I've haven’t written about it - I went to Barcelona with a friend recently. The friend was, and still is female and we had a fantastic time together for those few days. She's funny as hell and together we bounced off each other and a lovely time was had by both.
I vowed to be 'badly behaved' once I'd got there and these days for me, this amounts to something related to sexual activity.
‘Was there any?’
It's just wrong innit? Two pretty and single women en Espana and neither of us got laid. There's one time, which always involved drinking, bars and clubs that I'd have been bewildered and disappointed if I hadn’t screwed someone during a 4 days trip abroad. These days, I don’t realistically expect to. And in my own defence I would like to state at this point that I COULD, of course I could, but I don’t generally find myself falling onto a random person’s cock stone sober. Unless, the guy is REALLY fukin hot and I'm feeling REALLY fukin upferrit and I'm convinced that he'll REALY give me what I want. Anyway, the few sunny days were spent with Gaudi, Picasso and coffee, drunk at street cafes while we watched the pretty Spanish boys stroll by. And observed the English who stood out like beacons of white in an otherwise colourful landscape.
Other than this, I’ve recently bought the Cartier watch that I've wanted to treat myself to for some time. I'm proud that I've bought this for myself and it’s money legitimately and 'cleanly' earned. It wasn't a gift, a bribe, or from a punter. Nope, it was thanks to my bloody hard work over the last couple of years, writing.
I had a good meeting with the publishers this morning at the Groucho. I feel energised and ready to take this by the balls. What? Well, pretty much everything. Everything that I can control myself, that means, writing and the goals I have for my near future.
By the way: I'm on the radio tomorrow night (tues 11th May) @ 11pm. BBC London 94.9 fm.
Late, I know, but listen if you can. Otherwise I-player it, innit.