Polite Notice:

OK, a couple of things: First: A Polite Notice:
‘Gentleman, when a woman says ‘no’ to you – she means ‘no’. Simple. There is nothing more to it. If she wants to be involved with you romantically she will let you know. If she doesn’t want to be romantically involved with you, she will let you know. And if she lets you know this – then please just leave her be'.

Most women will perhaps appear to most men as not being direct when it comes to dealing with these things. If I’m not interested in you romantically why must I have to spell it out? Why? Why do you try to force to into being blunt? Why must I compromise my own perception of decency by being abrupt? Why must you make me resort to harshness in order to be understood. It’s ridiculous. Is it pride that makes you disbelieve that I actually don’t fancy you? Is it? Why? You could be the perception of a dream man to many women and if it’s not there – it’s not there.
I will never change my mind about this.
Now, M – this is absolutely not about you. In fact, this is NOT about anyone of Facebook. All it is a friendly reminder that If a woman doesn’t fancy you – she never will. You can anything and she will not change her mind, so don’t your waste precious time. Do yourself a favour and move on and don’t hang around to make a usually chirpy woman grumpy. I’m really getting pissed off with someone whom when I met him I thought was normal. He is getting up my nose and any more nagging me to go out with him and I will erupt. Again - I stress this isn’t anyone on Facebook, so no one start getting your knickers in a twist and please dont' come for reassurance cos I'm not in the mood tonight.

Anyway, onward! I’m meant to be seeing S. tonight. He’s beautiful, he’s kind, he’s sweet, intelligent but I feel that nothing more will come of this than what we are doing now. And that's ok..

On a different note – I had a very enjoyable tet a tet with someone last night who isn’t trying to get into my knickers (he says! kidding! kidding!) It was fun and no pressure. I fucking hate pressure. So, anyway since there is none, I don’t need to worry about it !

Meeting My Half-Brother for the first time.

Well, what a wonderful weekend! Beautiful sunny weather, laughter and kisses all round at my dad’s house, before, during and after their marriage vows were renewed. I’ve never been to a wedding vows renewal shindig before, have you? It was gorgeous. They attached a white marquis thing (without the walls – in fact it was just the top of the marquis) to their large conservatory at the back of the house. They played arias from the opera La Boheme. The words they exchanged were poignant and they sincerely expressed devout love for one another.
Everyone had made an effort with their clothing. I, in fact, was the most casually dressed person there. That, of course, does not include the three children under 6 years old. Actually, come to think of it my half brother’s 6 year old daughter looked smarter than me, although I did wear a dress.

So, can i now start calling my half brother’s daughter and son my niece and nephew yet? Despite having only met them once? I’d like to. I've got a new buddy in my nephew. I'm in love with him. He's gorgeous, cheeky, bright...I also really like my half brother. He’s a good, good person. Hugely intelligent, gentle, charismatic. Very similar to my father. It’s nice. His wife is beautiful. She’s Swiss, sophisticated, articulate and warm.
All in all – I left my dad’s house feeling as though I am actually part of a family. I hope this feeling lasts. I’d like to keep contact with my half brother, but neither he nor his wife have mobile phones or internet at home. Strange since they run a successful health food company. Guess other people do most of the work. They’re pretty bohemien, self-seeking folk who are into meditation and ‘stuff’.
So yeah, my weekend was good! Really good... I didn't speak about my book, except in whispers with my aunt, who loved it!

Anyway, S. was gonna come round this evening but he's not now. I could easily blow cold over this right now. Don’t know why. I’m always like this. Why? Why? I mean, I do like S. a lot. I know him very well... I guess I just know that the two of us aren’t going to be in a long term relationship. The main reason? I wouldn’t trust him as my boyfriend. He loves women and women love him. In fact he’s attractive to both sexes. He’s a nice, nice guy. But maybe, knowing that S. IS wholly untrustworthy would make a liaison with him easier. My expectations would lower. But do I want that?? Nah! Ultimately, I guess after my last relationship I am very reluctant to pursue anything with anyone.

Oh well... I’m not worrying about it at all. I care little about it right now. But I don't want him cutting the strings he has at the moment for me. He must do it for himself if at all.

I’m loving being single. The only thing that’s worrying me right this moment is the colour of my hair. I’ve just bleached it.
Oh dear, oh dear...




http://www.missygee.com

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hooked-Survived-Prostitution-Londons-Nightlife/dp/1845966031/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252794549&sr=1-1

Dad's Renewing his Marriage Vows.

Was asked last minute to go on the radio tonight, but can't. I'm going north today. My dad and his wife are renewing their wedding vows. Can't wait! One of my father's sons ( my half brother ) and his wife and two small children are going to be there. I've never met them. I'm so excited. The half bro is nervous apparently. And it may be odd for me - since I'm the child my dad brought up. He was sent to boarding school.

I kinda wish I was taking someone with me... even my step-brother's wife's 16 year old son is taking his girlfriend. Step-mummy kept asking me if I've asked someone to join me there but I decided not to. Can't be arsed. Single is the new black, anyway. As from now.
Just wanna enjoy the moment without worrying about someone else who doesn't know my Pops and family etc...

I'm under strict instructions not to wear jeans or trousers. Fuck.... not sure what to wear now..... will have to go look through the mountain of clothes in my bedroom right now.

Catch yous anon.






http://www.missygee.com
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hooked-Survived-Prostitution-Londons-Nightlife/dp/1845966031/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252794549&sr=1-1

love this energy !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uZczPvm4jk

Me, on This Morning

I look lopsided on the tele!! Arggh! weird! And can someone PLEASE tell me to stop biting my lip! OK, I was shy...

http://www.itv.com/lifestyle/thismorning/reallife/clairegee/

my top for the tv show...

this it the detail on the left side of the top that I shall be wearing on the tele tomorrow morning. If the person sitting on the This Morning sofa does not have this on their top - she is an imposter!

Last night & Tomorrow I'm on T.V ! arrgh!

Just a quickie .... (stop giggling at the back!) I'm about to get into the bath and do my thing before bed.
I didn't sleep at all well last night. Ahem ... why,you ask? well, err... I was with S. my ex lover whom I've known for about three years. We've never got together properly cos, well, he 'goes out' frequently and I cant be doing with that in a boyfriend. S. is in the film business dharlings and seeing a guy who has rigourous drinking sessions (and god knows what else) inbetween erratic working hours, is not for me.

Anyway, I stayed over and we snuggled lots but I find it hard to sleep in another bed unless I stay there regularly. There was no banging, OK maybe a bit of gentle rocking and lots and lots of kisses all over, know what I mean - and it was yummy. Really sweet.
He's a tender thing is S. very gentle and very hot. Showed 2 girls his photos today at work - and they were like, 'fukin' ell Clare! he's fukin' gorgeous' - Yep - So it's not just me who loves a bit of swearing, you see!
He loves snuggling and being petted and I love dishing out the petting so we're suited in that way.

Okey dokey, final thing for today my friends - tomorrow morning I am getting picked up at 07.30 and going to Television Studios 'cos I'm going on ITV's This Morning show for an 11ish slot.
Yep, I'm making my television debut! Me! it's funny!
Arrgh! I'll be so friggin' nervous, I'm telling ya... I kind of am already, and I'm not even there. Cripes!

So, despite me not being able to see you - if you watch the program tomorrow morning between around 11am and midday - you should get a view of my mug chattering nervously.

wish me luck, please. I'm bloody shitting it....




http://www.missygee.com

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hooked-Survived-Prostitution-Londons-Nightlife/dp/1845966031/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252794549&sr=1-1

Meeting a Boy & My Television Debut...

After work I'm meeting S. for a natter and no doubt a ticking off for cancelling on him last weekend. Apparently he 'understands.' Good thing, since there are not too many choices involved.
So, S. has been talking to one of his film buddies (he's in the film industry dhalings) who is taking a real interest in my book.
Unless the guy is Martin Scorsese or at least the guy that produces 'Lost in Ivory Park', I'm just not interested.
What ?? You've never heard of 'Lost in Ivory Park' the series? No, I haven't either, I've just made it up.

So, I'm happy to be meeting S. in public. He's hot and I don't want to get myself in trouble. Thankfully, he's realised that I'm 'scared' about meeting him in a secluded area, i.e his place or mine because he's pretty and we end up doing naughty things with each other. And as I've said before - kissing boys usually gets me into trouble. And I don't kiss at will in public unless I'm wildly in love.
Well, it doesn't actually require me to be wildy in love - just in love will do. So what? I'm affectionate.

.... wanna know a secret?

I'm going on the tele, I am. Yep, I'll be beaming at you from the sofa of ........ very, very soon...


Ooo, S. just texted me - he's there, ready and waiting.......... Oh, shiiiiittttt.







http://www.missygee.com

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hooked-Survived-Prostitution-Londons-Nightlife/dp/1845966031/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252794549&sr=1-1

Step-ma has read my Book ... here goes...

So, I spoke to my pops today to wish him a happy daddy’s day. He is well. He was laughing and enjoying our chat as was I. I love that. It makes me very happy hearing him happy. He was even laughing when he told me that my step–mum has read my book.

Err.... If this was a film – the sound effect would be some car breaks screeching to a stop.

OK, Rewind...

Yes – my father was even laughing when he told me that my step-mum has read my book.

Right.

Fuck.

She’s read it.
She was always going to, but still, I’m a smidgen surprised that it was so soon after they got their copy. Fuck. Right. OK... so what do I do now? Speak to her! So I did...

She was very calm and sweet throughout. This was a total surprise. I expected drama and derision. She was in fact very adult and gracious. That may sound patronising but really, it’s not. Not knowing from many past experiences how things could have.
Step-mummy told me that she felt hurt. At this point I thought ‘here come the fire works’ – still nothing.
She feels that I am claiming to not have had any support throughout the years I spent fucking up my life. Well, she knows what happened. The two of them were there. On occasions. We all know how the story went.

I don’t like to lose my dignity if I can help it. Not any more. But I will say this my friends :
1. I played their behaviours right down in my book and avoided mentioning how my relationship really was with my dad and step-ma during those painful years for fear of sounding as though I was putting them down. I didn’t make the mistakes that I did with anyone else's help other than my own. But for sure, I could have said so much more in Hooked about what went on between us but I chose not to. The story is meant to be focused on my shenanigans, not other peoples. Especially people that I love.

2. My concern today is that they are all right. They are, and I am. They forgive me and I forgive them.


“I’m glad I read it Clare, and I’m glad I felt what I felt,“ My step-mum continued. It sounded like a confession of guilt. Blimey. I don't need that from them. But an acknowledgment of how difficult things were and how isolated I was, is generous of them.

“But it hurts me still, that you went through this and you felt so alone.”

I was alone. But I didn’t say this. I didn't have to. Part of that aloneness was self-imposed of course.

“Did you feel poorly judged in the book?” I asked her.

“ No, not at all.” She answered. Fucking hell.... this is a revelation.

But again, I fear sounding hurtful towards them (and I believe it is my duty to protect and nurture them) but I must admit that I am somehow a little relieved that they now have a clearer understanding of what happened to me and how badly I coped, and why.

I wasn’t able to get close to them for years. They were rightly frightened by my erratic behaviour, I guess and they didn't know what to do - so they hid.
But now maybe we will begin to understand each other on a different level.
They don’t really know me, but I am certain that this book will enable us to build our bridges over some already pretty solid foundations.

As for daddy? He hasn’t read it. My step-ma has read him ‘bits.’ And when he told me this he showed no signs of being disturbed, and believe me, like me, if he wasn't happy – he wouldn't be able to hide it.
I think secretly he is very proud that I have written something which seems to be emotive and dare I say, a little shocking. He likes that I took it by the balls and mostly just served it as it was.






http://www.missygee.com


http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hooked-Survived-Prostitution-Londons-Nightlife/dp/1845966031/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252794549&sr=1-1

Hooked is number 7 in WhSmiths !

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hooked-Survived-Prostitution-Londons-Nightlife/dp/1845966031/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252794549&sr=1-1

Sex Vs Platonic friendship.

OK, so what’s happening with me? Well, this coming week all being well I should be making my television debut. I shall tell you more before the due day. I hate blabbing, and risking embarrassment if the program pulls out last minute and it doesn’t happen. It’s exciting, altho the idea of it is also nerve wracking. Arrgh! I won’t be telling my dad about the show even though a day or so afterwards I am going north to see my Pops and my step-ma who are renewing their wedding vows. Very modern of them! Love that!
There, I shall meet one of my father’s sons whom I have never met before. That’ll be weird and I’m looking forward to it greatly. The son and his wife have two tiny children, who will be with them at the party. I love kids and kids seem to like me too, so it’ll be fun.

I’m feeling a bit lonely this evening. I can see friends, but it’s a different type of lonely I’m feeling. I wish I had a man to snuggle. I haven’t really felt this for some time – but I’m feeling it tonight. Yeah, I’ve felt like some sex over the last few weeks, but this is different. I’d love a cuddle and for some hot guy to be stroking my arm while we watch a film or something.
It’s not really about sex... well, maybe it is. It’s always about sex, right? Whatever.

Anyway, reality states that I won’t be snuggling anything tonight except my pillow. My days of random ‘comfort’ have well past. Ironically, an ex-sex buddy, S, the film guy who I used to see from time to time (over the past 3 years or so) contacted during last week to see if I wanted us to spend this weekend together. I didn’t want to, although I stupidly said that I would. Why?? Why do I do that? It’s silly. I then back tracked over a text and told him that I couldn’t do it. Of course I could, but I didn’t want to. Not with him. We’ve known each other in their capacity for so long and about a year ago I decided not to go down that road again, preferring us to be platonic friends. But who am I kidding? S. and I would never be ‘just’ friends.
So why didn’t I just do him tonight? I really don’t know why to be truthful.

You know something? I do not have any male friends that I fancy. Not one. Guys whom I have found attractive and I’ve had a ’friendship’ with, I can pretty much say that I have slept with them. And since I decided to have a cull of the ‘friends’ with whom I’ve had sex - I am now left with mainly female friends. The majority of my boy-pals have gone. Poof!

“You saying you can’t be friends with an attractive man, Clare?”

“I suppose I could. I’m sure I could. But I’d definitely think about seeing them naked and that stuff just gets in the way, doesn’t it?”

“ That’s lame!”

“So..?! I’m being honest.”







http://www.missygee.com

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hooked-Survived-Prostitution-Londons-Nightlife/dp/1845966031/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252794549&sr=1-1

Magical Chet Baker

Almost Blue, instrumental:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4PKzz81m5c&feature=related



Almost Blue, with vocals:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alUSx_X_za8&feature=related

My Home Page

http://www.missygee.com

Montana & me : Last night.

I’m bloody zonked. Fact. After friday night on the radio I didn’t get to sleep until silly-o’clock and then I awoke yesterday at 1.30pm. Around 4pm I went to get my hair done, which took forever. Have you ever been to Africa? Well, I can tell you that things move at a very, very laid back pace over there. So, knowing this, I still decided to go to an afro hair dressers (that I’ve been to before) where one hairdresser was simultaneously trying to do around 3 people’s hair. This is fine if you have a spare few hours to kill then you can twiddle your thumbs or flick through gossip magazines. I did have time but I didn’t want to spend it in there. I’d rather have been in my bed getting some quality snooze time before my sexy guest arrived. So, what you really want to know about isn’t my hair, is it now? No, indeed it’s not. You want to know about last night, right?
Yep, the enigma that is Montana came over my... He came to my place.

I’m not sure how much detail I’m willing to go into about it. .. hmmm. I know he reads this and it would be a crime for his head to swell ! haaha! Besides, I’m a lady and ladies only spill all the beans to friends - What was that? You’re my friends? True, true, OK then, here we go...
Nah, I can’t. Although, I can say this much - we had a sexy tussle which delivered all I was hoping for. Montana is a big guy (yes, fully in proportion, OK!) who is well able to put me in my place. Of course this is in the friendliest manner possible. Yum!
A huge turn on for me is his physical dominance. It’s not his size that turns me on to be truthful, it’s his strength. The differences between men and women are what I enjoy most. Physical strength, body hair, facial hair, body shape, muscle mass.

Montana is sure of himself and he’s laid back. Saying that I don’t actually know how he is outside of my little flat because we’ve never done anything more than been indoors, but that's OK. It's what our 'friendship' is based on.
He’s not manic, like I can be. He's pretty self contained. I find calmness, and gentleness very attractive characteristics in men. Anyone who is loud and talks too much or is a show-off, need not apply.

Anyway, Montana stayed the night last night. He’s never stayed before so I was surprised that he did. I knew it wouldn’t be awkward because we get on well and inspite of him being affectionate and tactile – “Oh, he’s a player trying to reel you in” a friend said to me today – I wasn’t sure how he’d be since he’s avoided like the plague staying over before. OK, so just how honest should I be right now? Hmmm...Montana will read this. Oh well, OK, here we go...

It was delightful having him stay. He’s fantastic at snuggles and kisses and he’s good to my nose. My nose?? Yep, my nose. I like having my nose suckled and petted, it’s a comfort thing, alright... I'm sure you have your little comfort blankets. OK, moving on. *ahem*

I like Montana, he’s all right. However,I am concerned about one thing: attachment. Mine. Not his.
I have always known that this is nothing more than a good time, giggles and extended cuddles that make me - well, you know...

So, what’s the problem? Err, I may be about to say this next sentence because I am tired, but I am concerned that the simple (and normal) act of him actually staying over may grow inside me a desire to see him more frequently. We can’t have that.
I can imagine him rolling his eyes right now as he reads that and thinking 'you've blown it now Clare. I'll never stay again, ever! Why do women have to do this!!'... not all of them do!

Oh, whattevver trevvorr !
Montana and I have managed to see each other infrequently enough to keep an emotional distance between us and that’s been fine, but I guess I wouldn’t mind seeing him a little more regularly (why, just cos he bloody stayed the night??) but I don’t want to start catching feelings. Feelings?? God no! They’re so 2009! Urrgh!
Am I saying this just because the guy slept in my fucking bed? god, what's happening to me!

(I find it all slightly amusing to be honest)

The thing is, I don’t know how I will feel over the next few days. I’ll probably be over my desire to see more of him and we shall continue with our usual bi-monthly encounters.
Regardless, I trust him to freak out sufficiently by what he’s just read that he will definitely ensure that we stick to our sporadic get-togethers.

Maybe my friend is right – he is a p.l.a.y.e.r .
And if he is? He does it good. It's up to me to keep my shit together...

Arrgh! – just seen my stars for today 'Venus moves, express your feelings!’ – That word again - Feelings!
No, not me. Feelings are sooo 2009.

Montana - run!

(Oh dear. I'm sitting here alone, laughing my head off! I'm such a silly-billy)







http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hooked-Survived-Prostitution-Londons-Nightlife/dp/1845966031/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252794549&sr=1-1

love this! gotta hear it !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnW91MAIBhU

I'm on the radio tonight.

I'm on BBC London radio tonight at 11pm. The Joanne Good show 94.9fm

I'm getting a piece of the pie.

I tell you something – there’s some fucking odd things that seem to go on, on facebook. God knows what goes through people’s minds – mine being one of them. It certainly makes me realise how just because I swapped my gash for cash and took copious amounts of cocaine and drank enough vodka and wine to sink a small boat - I wasn’t that ‘out there,’ at all.

God love the human race and all who sail in her!

So, my loves, it’s all about sex for me at the moment. I'm sure you don’t need me to actually make that statement. You must know from my facebook statues and the way I am generally banging on about ‘frustrations’ that need releasing that something’s going off. I’ve banned celibacy in my life. It’s prohibited. Instead right now, It’s all about sexy time.
And you know something? I’m gonna get me a piece of the pie. With whom? Montana, that’s who. Who else would it be? He’s the last person I was with. I’m not exactly going to go out searching for someone to have sex with (not with my past) when there is a 6’5, perfectly proportioned and aesthetically thrilling yoof who I genuinely get on well with – in my phone book.
Actually he’s not that young. He’s 26 (just) but that’s enough younger than me to make that part of the excitement. And you know how these young ‘uns are, eh? Of course you do. So, the legendary Montana is on the menu over this weekend. Lucky meeee....

I know I sound as though I talk about him as though he doesn’t have a soul. I do this tongue in cheek. He’s a sweetheart as I’ve said before. So, you may wonder why we don’t see each other more often? I wonder that myself in a way, not that I spend time anylising it.I guess like this it keeps the boundaries in place. It keeps things more simple. He doesn't want anything with me and I don't want anything.
I'm just not in the right place. I'd just be a nightmare.


'If nothing changes, nothing changes' - nothing's changed yet. Not with regards my insecurities when I'm in a relationship.

Tomorrow Mark, AKA Jim,( who is mentioned in Hooked) the person I have dedicated the book to is coming to London. Not to stay with me. He’s working down here and he’s staying in a swish hotel for the night. Lucky ba**ard! He has been commissioned to do some art works for this couple in Chelsea. They’re quite well known, so it’s good for him.
Can’t wait to see him. He’s so full of ideas, and he’s immensely passionate about people, life, everything. I adore, adore, adore him. He’s uniquely special to me and will always be in my life. We are bonded by a deep love and understanding of each other which no one will ever come between.

So, after work it’s dinner with Mark and rigourous conversation, then I’m on BBC London radio again on the Jo Good Show. 94.9. I’m really looking forward to it. Jo Good is one hellova charismatic woman and has instantly put me at ease the other two times that I’ve met her.

Hooked, I think is selling, altho it’s hard to tell. I dunno. The publishers don’t tell me much. I’ve figured that Waterstones seem to be selling least copies, so for youse that haven’t bought Hooked yet – if you venture into Waterstones in Piccadilly, or The Plaza shopping centre on Regent Street you can pick yourself up a signed copy. Please forgive the somewhat scruffy writing. But you will find something inside the book that I’ve put that that should make you smile.

Right. Cammomile tea now, then an early night. Preserving energy for the upcoming weekend - know what I mean!? Of course you do...






http://www.missygee.com


http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hooked-Survived-Prostitution-Londons-Nightlife/dp/1845966031/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252794549&sr=1-1

Twitter

Join me on Twitter @ claregee01

Get a Signed Copy of My Book ... today

Today I signed some copies of my book, HOOKED in Waterstones, in the Plaza shopping centre, Oxford Street. Find them upstairs in the biography section.

My Past is Back.

I have just been told that a guy I was in rehab with and with whom I went on to have a torrid 8 month relationship with immediately after I had left rehab, has been spotted by a friend. They spoke. He told her he has just come out of another treatment centre, and right now he is drug and alcohol–free, apparently.
This is the guy with whom I did many sober ‘firsts’ with, in my new après rehab life.
This is the guy with whom nearly 6 years ago I had a few-days-long cocaine and vodka session with, when we relapsed together in a frenzied binge.
After rehab together, we then used together. Full circle.
This is the only guy that I have known for certain had cheated on me. It was the woman that this guy cheated on me with whom I spoke to for over an hour to get every single detail from her about their liaison, before telling him not bother contacting me again. Ever.
This is the guy who I wished dead.
And this is the guy who I’ve suddenly realised I no longer resent and dare I say it, I wish nothing but good for him.







http://www.missygee.com

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hooked-Survived-Prostitution-Londons-Nightlife/dp/1845966031/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252794549&sr=1-1

I am finally on Twitter...

I am finally on Twitter:

find me and add me if you wanna ... Username: claregee01

see you there!

(some) music I love !

love, love, love this! good times! altho before my time, when I started my 'research' this was still tres popular!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jQ_bOP0HfY

My book, Hooked.

Waterstones:

http://www.waterstones.com/waterstonesweb/products/clare+gee/hooked/6976296/



great reviews on Amazon:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1845966031/ref=cm_cr_error

I was Propositioned.

OK, let me tell you what happened to me the other day. I’m such a scatter brain that I haven’t got round to mentioning it to you yet. I’ve been working a lot on my second book over the past week and so haven’t had chance to get my shit together to tell you the gossip...
On Wednesday evening after work I was chatting to a woman from work whom I went for dinner with to discuss her religion. This proved to be a really interesting and enjoyable evening. This woman is incredibly faithful to her God and I am very interested in anyone who has such conviction and passion for something. Whatever that something may be, doesn’t matter to me. It’s the unwavering belief aspect that fascinates me. I like to know what drives people’s obsessions; where their passion began, blah, blah..
Anyway, so the two of us turned a corner heading to a restaurant and I happened to catch the eye of a guy who was sitting outside a cafe with three of his friends having a coffee. I noticed him because he is bloody good-looking. I don’t care if that sounds shallow. If something looks good, it looks good, so what? At that stage I wasn’t planning on marrying him! I was just appreciating his beauty.
He looked at me, I looked some more, he held eye contact for a moment, then he smiled. I smiled back and as I passed he got up and stopped me.

“God, hello, errr, how are ya? Err, I don’t know what to say but I had to say something to you...” He said.
He then gave me a compliment about how I look and he asked me if I’m married. Married?? Am I at that age now when that’s a real possibility!? Arrggh!! More importantly do I look that age!!? fuck!

“ Err, no I’m not. Are you?” I asked, covering my mouth with my hand. I was a bit taken aback.

“ No, gosh I think you’re ...” Again, he said something very complimentary but I won’t say it ‘cos I don't want to sound like a pompous arse.

“ Can I take you for lunch next week?” He smiled. It was all so spontaneous.

“Are you winding me up?” I asked. (Wish I hadn’t said that)

“ No, No, I’d really like to take you out... Gosh, when I just saw you I just felt something...Can I take your number? Actually, let me give you my number...” So he did. Later, I texted him, he texted me, I texted him back, he texted me again numerous times and so it’s gone on.
Ooooo, exciting!
Let’s see what next week brings. That is if I don’t flake on him, freak out and not go. This is very likely. Yes, very likely...I don’t know why I do this, but I do it too often... But maybe I’ll be brave this time.

As a result of my recent friskiness, I've decided that I may drop my self imposed sex veto; just as a one off. I think it'll do me good, maybe...err, maybe not. I'm not sure. I'm going through a weird change at the moment and I don't understand it, and I'm not trying to understand it to be truthful. I just know that something is shifting in me with regards men/sex/relationships etc... I'm loving my new found independence. And maybe I don't actually want sex at all - I just think I should because that's what people do... Oh, whateevvvvvrrr! Zzzzzz.

By the way: I had a lovely evening with you last night Cass. Thank you for joining me.




http://www.missygee.com

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hooked-Survived-Prostitution-Londons-Nightlife/dp/1845966031/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252794549&sr=1-1