Well the tide seems to be turning. I am not getting depressed. I have been anxious and miserable the past days, but depression is not taking hold. I hope I don’t eat my words, but living in the Power of Now, in this moment I am alright; less anxious. I’m not panicking like I have been.
When I go from one extreme to another just reiterates my faith in a Power Greater than myself that doesn't want me to sink. And that Power not only sprinkles well being over me single handedly, but also works through people. You people. The people that allow me not to feel alone. However sad that may seem that strangers help me not to feel alone - it is my reality. I take a huge comfort in the love that people have given to me on here and on Facebook.
Thank you. It moves me and makes me cry. The process of writing this blog and having the Missy Gee Facebook page has helped me more than any of you will ever understand. You give me faith in people,in kindness in generosity of spirit. I have experienced being let down a fair bit in my life by people close to me - those people being my parents - and as you know there is no one else.
I needed the past few days to adjust to the shock of losing my job and also finally releasing myself from my stupid relationship.
I haven’t decided exactly what I’m going to do next with regards work and where I will live....First thing’s first I want to move back to Surrey where I belong. I’ve always lived out there. It’s home to me.
I am searching for a place – at least on the internet and Friday I will go into some estate agents and see what’s available... Just the thought of moving makes me happy! I love it out there. It’s green, and less clinical than where I am living now. Plus it’ll be cheaper than my current place. I reckon where I live now I probably half the £1300 rent (£650) for the views. I mean, it’s certainly not space, I’m paying for – it’s really small.
Tomorrow I am sure I will be even better than today and I will be able to fill you in on details about CG & I... bet you’d almost forgot he was here... I haven’t. He’s very much here, right now, sitting on my living room floor in some shorts and nothing else. He’s helped me ‘de-stress’ a couple of time while he’s been here - very generous of him... he’s a good friend - he really is, good.