I feel my girl power credentials slipping away along with the dullness of my colour which is due to the lack of English sun.
I’m here with L. She’s in our apartment watching a DVD, and I gotta admit however unsexy this may sound –I am missing Dee.
Yep, missing him.
This is slight bollocks after everything. But although my spine is made of steal my heart is not. So there you go. Natural I guess. I keep telling myself as did a ‘friend’* (of the ex-sex variety) ‘It’s like you’re weaning yourself off a drug. You just got used to him (Dee). Now it’ll take some time to feel detached.’
Very philosophical for this Thursday evening.There’s too much happening in my life for me to sit back. I’ve always had opportunities and have been very lucky – so why the hell would I sit back and start darning socks for Christs’s sake? wishing I’d gone out and embraced all that life offers.
I’m very hopeful about my immediate future. I can’t wait to get cracking with my book again next week.The agent has given me some very exciting feedback from a critic and she seems very buoyant. It’s an invigorating time. I’m enjoying my temp work. My flat is gorgeous, I’m on holiday becoming golden, so everything’s good.
Just one thing lacking: sex. Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex. I don’t think a relationship is what I need right now… too much hassle. I’m rubbish at them. I’ve decided that the quicker I get back onto the horse when I get home – the better I’ll feel.
I ain’t got time to waste. I want Dee to come and claim me as his, for things to change; and then I wake up to reality. I’ve got three potential pokes lined up. In fact make that 4, who in an instant I could drown my sorrows with, on – however you look at it.
Mr F: 51 year old sexpert. Please ignore the remark above about ‘poking’. I don’t think of you in that way. Really. I wouldn’t be drowning my sorrows with you, of course. You’re just hot in bed and you know the things you say to me to me have me purring like an over weight, very satisfied cat.
CG: err, we have unfinished business. You know it and I know it. And like I said on Sunday. If you don’t come of your own accord, I will have to come and take you. I am confident that you will come. And that we’ll continue where we left off.
S: We really shouldn’t. That girl you’re not seeing but kinda, whenever she’s in town – she’s too young to have her heart hurt. Really, no, we shouldn’t. Yeah, it’s always been good – but ya know…
The above philosophizer*: You are beautiful. Well endowed, sensual but we never used to talk. I want interaction, no just sex. Altho saying that recently it’s been nice - our new-fangled chat, I mean.
I really don’t know. But one thing for sure: I can’t be arsed to go through this crap again.
I’d rather remain single, always, than ever feel missing for someone.
I’m on holiday. 'Get a grip Gee, you're boring!'
well, holiday or not, life goes on, right?
Check out my Facebook page if you fancy a more personal chat. I'm under the name Missy Gee.